Everyone repeats the statement “Fake it until you make it”. Yes- I am putting it right out there- I HATE this saying so much! Why? Because it feels like saying, “please go ahead and pretend to be something you aren’t”. Lie to people’s faces because eventually you will believe it, too. Then, if and when I make it, it won’t be a lie anymore. Is this sound advice? NO! Control your mindset! Wear the most important fashion you can EVERYDAY; The cloak of confidence! Seriously, let’s face reality and create a positive mind space where we admit who and what we are at this precise time, and recognize we have room to grow and develop. We are in fact on a journey! It’s why we don’t start at the finish line. There is plenty of learning along the way! Enjoy the journey and the growing process. Don’t be fake, or say things that just “look” like you are successful. DO things that create success. Be up front if you are working towards a promotion or a rank or advancement of some kind. Put it right out there for everyone to see and hear. You can’t FAKE confidence; you FEEL it. You also can’t have it unless you claim it as yours. Sometimes people will try to dig at you to make you think you don’t deserve to be confident or successful, or that you are less than what you have already achieved. That is simply a reflection of their own inadequacies and weaknesses. Don’t FAKE it- you will come off as FAKE! Stand in your confidence! Learn everything you can to be strong, educated in your field, a leader and believe in yourself and your talents and gifts. BELIEVE you will achieve your desired goals and you won’t have to fake it, because before you know it, you will have it! Use your talents. Don’t waste time faking it. Make it happen! #BELIEVEYOUCAN #BEREAL
(Originally published in Exposure Magazine Sept 15, 2017).
When was your last vacation from life? Are you resting, relaxing, restoring and rejuvenating? Life barrels by us a hundred miles per minute. Have you considered how important it is to take time to rest and restore, to decompress and re-energize your spirit? How long has it been since you have taken a vacation and invested some time in simply doing nothing? Housework will still be waiting, all the projects will still be there. People severely underestimate the need for rejuvenation by relaxation. Read a book for pleasure while sitting poolside or at the beach. Hike a mountain and sit by a stream and read the Bible or whatever fills your spirit up. Travel to some place you have never been and meet some new people. This doesn’t need to be a two week excursion, even two days is great. Expose yourself to new people, new experiences, and new surroundings to keep yourself happy and centered. Take the “me” time you need to continue to be the most amazing you that you are capable of. Your health and wellness depends on it. Your ability to be in service to others depends on it. In fact, I would go so far as to say your ability to be truly successful depends on it! Go with your special someone or go alone- just go! Reconnect with you and rediscover what is important to you. Sleep well and rest often. Happiness and fulfillment are very difficult to obtain if you are always tired and cranky. It leaks out onto everything and everyone. No sense being the crabby Patty/Pat everyone avoids. Get away from everyday life, rest up, relax, restore and rejuvenate because you are worth it!
I should clarify, I don’t mean you actually have a problem in your head. I am referring to what happens when you have “stinking thinking”, and it rolls out over everything in your life. Your mindset manifests in your entire body. Your attitude will be the cement that holds all the faulty thoughts and excuses together. There are some cliché sayings about (blank) my life. The negative words that get filled in grate on my last nerve because they reflect an unhealthy mindset. When you contaminate your thinking to a point where everything in your life references a negative circumstance, it is like you send a beacon for more negative circumstances to occur. You are calling it to you like a magnet. STOP! Clean up the space between your ears. Your brain continues to work on whatever you give it to work on. If you are focused on negativity, it continues to create and sustain that because your brain is a great worker. Unfortunately, it can’t decide on its own whether it is good or bad for you. Your brain controls every single aspect of your body. It tells your lungs to breathe, it keeps your blood circulating, and it also works to continue to keep flowing whatever good ideas or bad thoughts you choose to ruminate on. I am known to say “You only have control over two things: Your thoughts and your actions. Make good choices.”. What you think about determines your actions. More widely known is “What you think about you bring about“ (Earl Nightingale). For many people, the thoughts are simply excuses. These excuses determine the action or inaction. Some examples of how people differ in how they think about this sound like, “I can’t exercise because I have ____.” Or, “I exercise because I have _________, and exercise will improve my health.” This is a choice. You can insert any kind of ailment or impediment you want. One person will use it to make an excuse why they can’t, and the next person will use it for why they should. Insert a few things relevant for you into the sentence above, such as being 50 pounds overweight, blind, high blood pressure, diabetes, no legs, etc. Still don’t think you can do it? Look at Erik Weihenmayer as an example. As a blind man, he has climbed Mt. Everest and kayaked the entire Grand Canyon. He refuses to allow his blindness to be a reason why he cannot do something. He allows it to propel him to do ALL the things people can’t even imagine him doing or even wanting to do. He carefully controls the thoughts he entertains and aligns his actions to meet the greatness he sees and cultivates in his mind. He controls his mindset. Your greatest asset to a healthy life is keeping the space between your ears free of excuses, stinking thinking, and self-loathing, and fill it with positive, beautiful strong thoughts and images of you conquering every challenge that comes before you. Control your thoughts and actions because you can!
These are my older blog posts, which originally appeared in my Exposure Magazine Column, "Healthy Living."